Friday, October 16, 2009 // 6:14 AM
8th August 2008 - 16th October 2009
1 year, 2 months and 8 days.
1 year, 2 months and 8 days.
Laying his back on me, stroking his hair so gently. I felt that I don't wanna leave him, holding him close to me and I didn't feel like letting him go. I couldn't imagine how my life would be without him. For more than a year together, I still felt loved. I couldn't possibly cheat on him, thinking he was mine.
The time had come today. So much for being faithful. So much for being honest.
But I swear its one of the most wonderful, amazing relationship I've ever been in. The Loveliest. I can't move on, we were intimate, we understand each other. Well, maybe we THOUGHT so that we were. But before all these happened, he was always there for me. The one that wiped off my tears when I cry, the one that hugged me sooo tight to make my fears & cold go away.
All those moments when I just loved to tease him and laughed so loud?
& For almost every night during the ramadhan, he would meet me nearby my house area just so he could cuddle me with him. Case tanak batalkan puase nye pasal. Haha. He'd be there to support me for all of my competitions, to make me less nervous. It's so funny when one of us was embarrassed.
But everything turned bitter ever since he skates. It was tragic. He met new friends. Friends that made him so passionate about the 'sport'. So passionate that he doesn't need me. Skate is his thing. He'd rather skate than meeting me when my house is just across the road. He lived like a single life. Especially when girls started coming in. I knew it gonna happen. I don't blame his friends, I blame him for breaking his promises to me. He took me for granted. You'll have to admit that everything became worse than ever you skate.
All these while I didn't check your texts was because I trusted you so much.
Faithful? No. Honest? No.
I admit that I do still love him, unconditionally. It'll be hard to go on without him. Furthermore, my grandmother just had to ask about him the first thing I'm home. I don't know how to tell her when she actually loves him, I can't tell my family. I just can't. I know that he'll leave me for a new girl one day, but I never expect that it'll be this early. I know I ain't pretty enough for you, I ain't good enough. But I swear that my love had been sincere. All these while.
Baby,
I gonna miss looking at you when you felt embarrassed about yourself cos you'll look adorable.
I gonna miss meeting you all the time.
I gonna miss us teasing each other.
I gonna miss sharing my problems with you.
I gonna miss how you comfort me.
I gonna miss having good laughs with you.
I gonna miss playing jokes with you.
I gonna miss all those 'play fights'.
I gonna miss you playing with my hair.
I gonna miss talking to you.
I gonna miss looking deep into your eyes.
I gonna miss your whispers.
I gonna miss your kisses.
I gonna miss how you cuddled me with you.
But the most that I gonna miss about you is when you'll always say," I love you."
to only me, truly.
I will just miss you.
Love, being together for more than a year, isn't easy to forget. Unlike you, I couldn't possibly run into another guy and fall in love with him easily. I don't think that you even care if I say all these. I know where I stand now, a nobody to you. Not anymore holding a position in your heart. Just someone I met through Rock Climbing. That's all.
I don't know whether I've to be mad? Sad? Its all these feelings mixed up. I had even planned for us to watch a movie together.
But You've hurt me so much down and under, so thorough. You won't be seeing me anymore, neither you will hear from me. Cos I won't be with you. I won't be a burden to your life.
You are f r e e. I hope you're happy.
What goes around,
Comes Around.
Its karma.
Thanks girls, for cheering me up and of course Hazwan too.
Its all about Me & My Girls now.
Remember this song love?
Remember what you said about us?
Sometimes, you'd have to let your love ones go if you want them to be happy.
Always be My Boo, always.
Always be My Boo, always.
